Your Partner is not your Therapist: Busting Unrealistic Expectations

Every relationship is an interaction. And every interaction is made beautiful when there is harmony and love. When the interactions come from "want to do" instead of "must do", the beauty is enhanced.

The idea of a relationship is to nourish each other and not need each other. While it means that there will be some dependence on your partner, some expectations from your partner, it is unfair to rely on your partner to deal with your emotional needs.

We must understand that when we have deep seated distress, the partner may not be equipped to handle it. Often, I come across posts on social media with relationship advisors advising us to be "empathetic", "emotionally available", " become a safe space", etc. As much as it is important for a partner to be that matured, safe space, it is equally, if not more, important, for us to recognise and create healthy boundaries to prevent over reliance.

One must be realistic and careful in expecting their partners to be perfect!

In the age of social media, where curated perfection is often the norm, the pressure to present an ideal relationship can be overwhelming. Behind the filtered smiles and romantic posts, however, lies a silent weight: unspoken expectations. These expectations, often fueled by societal norms and unrealistic portrayals, can put undue pressure on our partners, transforming them into something they're not - our therapists.

The Myth of the Perfect Partner

Social media has created a distorted image of relationships, painting a picture of constant bliss and effortless harmony. We're bombarded with posts of couples who seem to have it all figured out, always happy, always supportive, and always understanding. But let's be real, no relationship is perfect. Every couple faces challenges, disagreements, and moments of frustration.

The Unseen Burden

When we harbor unspoken expectations, we inadvertently place a significant burden on our partners. We expect them to be our confidants, our therapists, our constant source of validation, and our problem-solvers. This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and ultimately, distance.

Your Partner, Not Your Therapist

It's important to remember that our partners are human beings, not superheroes. They have their own emotions, their own struggles, and their own limits. While it's healthy to share our feelings and seek support from our loved ones, it's crucial to maintain a balance.

Setting Realistic Expectations

To foster healthier relationships, we need to set realistic expectations. This means:

Communicate openly and honestly: Don't assume your partner can read your mind. Express your needs, concerns, and desires clearly.

Practice active listening: Give your partner your undivided attention when they're speaking. Validate their feelings and offer support without judgment.

Seek professional help when needed: If you're struggling with significant emotional issues, consider seeking therapy or counseling.

Prioritize self-care: Take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. This will enable you to be a more supportive and understanding partner.

By recognizing the unrealistic expectations we place on our partners and taking steps to address them, we can cultivate stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, your partner is there to love you, not to heal you.